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Benign Girl!

This piece of cardboard appeared on my front lawn one garbage day. What a wonderful name is Benign Girl. I wonder if she has an evil twin named Malignant Bitch. And what superpowers do these chicks have?

The instructions are exceedingly helpful. They tell us that non-rechargeable batteries are not to be recharged. But, do not use rechargeable batteries in this toy. Wow, thanks for the free advice! The supply terminals are not to be short-circuited. Well I wouldn't dream of it. Because I don't know what that even means. Exhausted batteries are to be removed from the toy. What exhaustive battery advice! My guess is that this toy manufacturer was taking no chances on breaching North American toy safety standards.

One mystifying thing to note (as if the actual name "Benign Girl" isn't mystifying in and of itself) is the little picture of the garbage can with a slash through it at the bottom of the picture. Indicating what exactly? That this toy is not to be thrown in the garbage? Is that because Benign Girl is actually hazardous waste? Or what?

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