Mental Flossing

I just flossed my teeth. Whoo! Pat on back! Now what the hell is wrong with the rest of you? Like 99.9% of the rest of the population (or maybe I'm overestimating how many people actually floss) I didn't floss my teeth except occasionally in a pre-dentist panic, until my 30s. The only reason I started flossing at all was because I was dating (dating -- ha! actually merely having sex with) a man who was a hygiene freak. He showered several times a day, changed his clothes at least twice a day and brushed frequently with determination. And flossed, of course. He insisted that I should floss my teeth too. He would not kiss me unless I had brushed AND flossed. Since I really wanted to get into bed with him, (reasons for wanting that must have been purely pheremonal. He had a small penis and was not so good in the sack), I would oblige. (Side note -- we only ever had drunk sex because he was too uptight to share germs when sober). (Side note #2 -- he was an alcoholic).

The great change in my attitude towards flossing, from sexual duty to personal responsibility, occurred when visiting the dentist for a cleaning during those five and a half months of my dalliance with the germaphobe. The dentist x-rayed my teeth. I had no cavities. I was leaving the office, on my way out the door, when the dentist came out to the reception area and called me back to show me my x rays. He pointed out the area between the teeth. He said normally that area is dark which indicates deteriorating enamel. But the areas between the teeth on MY x ray wher NOT dark. Quite light in fact! Due to flossing, said the dentist. Something he rarely saw, said he. WOW! I felt like I had been given a gold medal. Never in my history of visits to the dentsit had I ever been praised for my dental hygiene. This was about the best feeling in the world.

And now I floss regularly. And so should you! (Side note #3 -- my mother-in-law has terrible gum disease and has lost many teeth to it. I asked her if she flossed. No, she said, do you think I should? I politely refrained from saying DUH!)